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There's a spider in me barfroom,
and 'e's 'anging frum 'is fred
But 'e ain't the one that worries me
It's the one above me bed!

A bleedin' 'airy monster
slowly 'eadin' souf
An' I'm scared ter go ter sleep
In case 'e ends up in me mouf!

So I'm layin' 'ere awake
In a state of bleedin' fright
And now I 'as a problem
Cos I needs ter do a shite!

Do I bolt inter the barfroom?
Oh dear its quite a quandry
If I stays in bed much longer
Termorrer... it's do laundry!